David Polkinghorne
Healing that includes Acupressure, Acupressure Massage, Talk’s / Presentations & Workshops

The mirror effect


The fact that we are acting as a mirror for each other is a widely known concept, however some may struggle to understand exactly what this means.


My understanding of being a mirror for each other is; what we see as a shortcoming in another is a shortcoming for ourselves also. 


At a surface level what we see as a shortcoming in another may look very different to what we recognize when we look within ourselves.  I believe this is because as individuals we develop different strategies to deal with and respond to the challenges and difficulties we face.  These strategies are developed while we are quite young; they become our usual way of coping and soon become the habitual patterns we rely upon and continue to rely upon in our adult life. 


One person may display extravert characteristics and another display introvert characteristics or dominant as opposed to submissive characteristics to cope with and respond to very similar challenges. 


The bully in the school playground is hiding their insecurities behind their aggression, whereas the insecurities of the one being bullied are exposed for all to see.  On the surface they both act and look very different however inwardly they are both feeling insecure. 


The process of mirroring is offering the gift of awareness to each other.  Awareness gives us the opportunity to change because until we are aware of a shortcoming we are oblivious to the fact we may wish to change.  I know this sounds obvious however the obvious is often staring us in the face and we continue to ignore it.


I was recently asked while holding a workshop; are we always being a mirror for each other if not, when are we simply observing something about the other person?


The answer I heard myself giving is; we are simply observing something about the other person when observing it, no longer causes us to feel disharmony within our self. 

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